Repeat Offenders

I partially blame social media. I also recognize people's inability to be self-aware.

People have become far too obsessed with the minutia in their lives, and play it out on various platforms with the expectation their self-interest needs to be extrapolated to others who should be equally entranced with their self-obsession.

I've encountered this phenomenon on more than one occasion recently and break down the culprits with the following definitions:

⇒The Self-Absorbed Repeat Offender
This person can be clearly identified by the rapidity in which conversations return to topics involving them. "Return" is key in this definition. Not only will a Self-Absorbed Repeat Offender dominate the conversation with minutia and drivel about themselves, their viewpoints, what other people thought about them, how others reacted to them, how they are the centre of everything important.... (you get the idea), they will also ignore or deflect any attempts to talk about anything else. Despite repeated attempts to change the topic, a Self-Absorbed Repeat Offender will continually -- and often not subtly -- return the conversation to one they are interested in, and more likely one in which they are the centre of focus.

Unfortunately these types of interaction with a Self-Absorbed Repeat Offender are usually not a one-shot wonder. You will find a SARO's self-absorbed topics will be repeated and repeated in subsequent conversations over time. The same egocentric diatribe you heard before may well be repeated at another time and place, and another, and pop up yet again as the topic of conversation weeks or months later.

A SARO has no self-awareness; however this is a trait not uncommon to all Repeat Offenders. Specifically, a SARO is unaware they are dominating the conversation; they don't realize no one else really shares their level of interest. Their stories do not vary widely in topic leading one to believe their life experiences also have a narrow scope, and they have no long-term memory to know their conversation has occurred previously -- at least once, and most likely several times. A daydream or brief mind-vacation is the only way to deal with this without being blatantly rude -- although that may earn you descriptions (albeit true!) of indifference, derisiveness or disinterest.

⇒The Butinsky Repeat Offender
Directly related to the SARO, the BRO is also unaware of others around them and use this to dominate conversations. The BRO is indiscriminate in the conversations they will insert themselves into, whether it's between a few people, or in large groups.

The distinguishing difference between a SARO and a BRO is the topic of conversation. Where a SARO will revert conversation back to one that focuses on them, a BRO has an underlying belief they are a self-proclaimed expert on everything. Compared to the egocentric focus of a SARO, this gives a BRO the ability to jump into any conversation uninvited. Keep in mind, a BRO is not necessarily an expert (other than in their own mind). They will also dominate the conversation from their viewpoint -- their personal experience, or that of someone they know -- whether it's relevant to the original conversation or not. This also allows them to steer the conversation in a direction that further serves their need to share their self-proclaimed expertise, and viewpoints. There is no combating this repeat offender.... just walk away!

⇒The No Short-Term Memory Repeat Offender
You can discern a No Short-Term Memory Repeat Offender by the number of times you are asked the same question. Don't be lulled into thinking they are listening to your answer, as often they have absolutely no recollection of the answer you've given -- nor the question they've asked.

There is also evidence that the NSTM trait may have some basis in heredity. My own recent experience had the offspring of a NSTM Repeat Offender ask me the same question four times within a 2 hour window. The parent then asked the same question two additional times.

The repeated questions posed by a NSTM Repeat Offender are often an attempt to look engaged in a conversation, or feign interest in those they are speaking to, but don't be fooled. Your answer really doesn't matter. This opens up avenues to have some fun if you feel so inclined. Why not vary your answers slightly from question to question and see if there's any cognitive awareness. Chances are there won't be, but at least you're entertained!

⇒The Repeat Repeat Offender
This is the easiest offender to spot, as they will repeat a comment you've just made in conversation. This will often cause you to seriously ponder your own ability to speak a different language, or question whether you've lost your voice. It's neither. It's actually more like plagarism. The RRO is unable to form an intelligent or contributing comment on the spur of the moment, so grasps onto the last thing they've heard, and repeat it as if it's their own creation and contribution. The trick in dealing with an RRO is not to gape in astonishment when they repeat what you've said just moments earlier. Remember repetition is the highest form of flattery, and if that doesn't appease your sense of incredulousness, feel free to stare at them as if you're questioning their right to use your oxygen!

Signs of Spring...

Winter appears to have come and gone.... at least in some parts of our country. Having the luxury of living in Ontario's 'banana belt' makes winter a little less harsh, but 'up north' certainly experienced its fair share of snow -- most of it (3+ meters) before the end of January!

So with that behind us, it's definitely nice to see robins, green grass, and the red line of the thermometer inching higher and higher. I realize there is still the potential for an April snow storm, but I'm the eternal optimist... April showers are just fine by me!

This has been a productive knitting winter. I've managed to keep my stash acquisitions at the same levels as last year, and between my own projects and WWFY (Will Work For Yarn) initiatives, I've been able to add some really lovely knits to my collection...and met some awesome people in the process.

Nothing more profound than that for this entry...