I'll Be Home for Christmas

There comes a point in December where I break out my Christmas CDs and put them in my car. On weekend trips up north to my Mom's, I'll listen to Vince Guraldi and the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack, Josh Groban's rendition of Christmas favourites, and my own mix of random songs including Martina McBride's remix with Dean Martin singing "Baby It's Cold Outside", and Diana Krall doing her Canadian version of "Winter Wonderland"....

But for me, there's one song that brings back memories of years past, and hope for years to come... the strains of "I'll Be Home for Christmas" does it every time. 

When one of my brothers was attending university in Ottawa, Mom and I would make numerous drives over to pick him up and bring him home. On one trip for the Christmas holidays, I distinctly remember us hearing and commenting on the sentimentality of this song on the radio as we driving through Algonquin Park. At that time, we all would be home for Christmas. My memories also dredge up a time when my other brother was doing post-grad work in Australia, bringing an entirely different meaning to the song....the sentiment that we'd all be together in spirit, if not in person. Even now, when I hear the song as I'm driving north, I'm thankful for my family and the opportunity we have to be together at Christmas. 

It is my wish for everyone -- my "extended family" whereever you may be, and to those who find themselves in another community or country for whatever reason -- to take a moment to reflect on being "home for Christmas". Home doesn't have to a physical place, just somewhere you find yourself surrounded by love.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Random thoughts...

November
I may be one of the few who likes the grey and windy days of November. Many people comment about the bleakness, or how dreary the shortened hours of daylight are at this time of year, but I rather enjoy this time of year. The invigorating briskness of the wind, the last few remaining leaves rattling in warning before being torn from their perch atop a maple tree, the stark and beautiful contrast of a ray of sunshine against a dark threatening snow cloud; it's all part of the passage into winter. It's a delineation between the neutral grey of fall, and the bright stark white of winter.

Okay, my appreciation of November isn't all about waxing poetic about the weather... it's also a great time to appreciate fibre arts. After all, this time of year is ideal for wearing those handknits as well as creating more luxurious items!

For some reason (age? wisdom?), I'm now discovering the benefits of a little something draped around my neck as a great way of keeping warm. That may sound strange coming from a knitter, however scarves were not high on my "must wear" list until the past few years. Before that, I'd throw a turtleneck on under a sweater, or pull my coat collar up around my neck, but the added layer of a scarf was as welcome as that first time you have to pack away your Birkenstocks and actually wear socks!

So, on my knitting list for the next few months -- scarves and cowls. I have some highly textured bulky yarn that will make for some quick knit cowls, and a few of my scarf plans (although the patterns do refer to them as shawls), will use some of the fingering weight yarns that seem to have multiplied while left unattended in my yarn stash. There are a few laceweight yarns that are inching their way forward in order to get noticed, and that may signal a shift in boundaries to wearing a scarf indoors as an accessory vs. just for warmth.

Giving Thanks
In recent years, I've taken the time to knit special items as Christmas gifts. Yes, I'm selective about who receives these items (for I believe my knit-worthy friends will appreciate and care for these things!). But this year, I'm not knitting for friends. I'm going to be selfish and knit for me. And there will be no guilt because I'm a firm believer in gifting throughout the year, and certainly have done so (and will continue to do so).

Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving a month earlier than our American counterparts, and with the international representation within a well-known knitting social community, the topic of "giving thanks" or "being thankful" has had a lot of play these past few weeks. Here was what my contribution said:

I am thankful for the incredible, loving foundation from my family -- the life lessons and empowerment from my Dad, and the knowledge and encouragement from my Mom.

I am thankful for the ongoing support -- silent as well as spoken -- from my two brothers (who are the best brothers in the world!!)

I am thankful for the 19 years I had with the love of my life, my husband Ken, and his lessons of strength and determination as he lived with cancer before leaving us in 2009.

I am thankful for my friends -- all over the world -- virtual and “real” -- and the richness of life experiences they have contributed to, making my life that much better.

I am thankful for my health, being able to give to those who are less fortunate, and my optimism in seeing the positive in life….

I challenge each and every one of you to think about what you are thankful for, and to pay it forward....  not just toward the traditional time of Holiday giving, but 365 days a year...

SQUIRREL!!!

At work, we have a meeting group that tends to go off topic....a lot....it's quite predictable, actually. We laugh. Some of us interject with the phrase "Squirrel!" (borrowed from the animated movie "Up!" where the talking dog gets easily distracted), and others comment "Oh Shiny!"  I'm not usually so structured or rigid in my processes where a little "Squirrel!" moment isn't welcome, but I will admit there are times when I question our lack of focus on the issue at hand.  Why is it then, that being distracted by a new knitting project or
pattern doesn't seem to cause me the same angst?

My last post referenced the new things -- yarns, patterns, techniques -- I'm anxious to try. This was in contrast to the previous post highlighting my "clean-up" efforts this summer, finishing all those "starts" of the previous year(s). You'd think that would be deterrent enough to make me think twice about succumbing to the squirrel moments.

But no.... at last count, I had 10 knitting projects awaiting my attention, all in various stages of progress. And the call of the yarn is loud and clear. I started yet another project this week (but in fairness, I did try a new technique with this pattern, so...!), and I'm really (really!) tempted to try another design I've been oogling.

I think I'm ready to surrender to the squirrel.... isn't that why they're summer critters? Their collections sustain them all year, and each summer they replenish their stores. I've cleaned the slate and replenished my "squirrel list" for the winter.... I'll nibble away on it for the next few months, and then clean house next summer before restocking the nest for the next knitting season.

Celebrate the Squirrel! Or am I just nuts....

Fall

Both Spring and Autumn are my favourite times of year. Spring heralds a new beginning. Life in a delicate green blanket, wafting on fresh crisp air. It's cotton or lace. Autumn provides a stunning display of nature in all its glory. A colourful, fiery showcase of the world around us. Fiercer winds hinting of things to come. It's flannel or wool.

Maybe that's why I equate this season with knitting. Time to look through the stash, dream over patterns not yet knit, seek inspiration from fellow knitters, and cast on. That analogy may seem strange after spending a summer finishing a significant number of knitting projects, but that was just available time and creating a clean slate. Now it's time for new beginnings, new projects, like the start of a new school year.

September used to inspire me to look at university courses, topics of general interest, professional and personal development. I now realize knitting is just that -- okay, maybe not at a university level, but acquiring my degree is now behind me, and I can focus on the "personal" interest aspect.

In a moment of clarity, I realized the amount of yarn I have waiting to be introduced to my knitting needles. Some of it is yarn I haven't knit with before -- different weights, brands, composition. Yes, I'll continue to knit the things that fall into the "traditional" or within the usual confines of "in the box thinking", but this is the year where I'm committed to trying something new. Lace with laceweight yarn. I have it in my stash... and I
didn't buy it to keep the dust from the shelves. Silk....blended with merino and as a  laceweight. I'm sure I can find just the right pattern. And then there's that stainless steel yarn with silk....I'm sure I won't have to look far to "think outside the box".

Bring on the Fall. I have my knitting needles and stash at the ready!

The "Done" List

You may recall from my blog post in June, my commitment was to spend my summer holidays doing things without guilt. That's exactly what I did.

But I know you're thinking... "But did you get to try your loom? How'bout walking? The rock garden?"

The answers are yes and no....and the "no" comes with no guilt!

As far as my fibre pursuits, a spurt of finish-itis saw eight... yes, 8...EIGHT!... sweaters make their way from some state of "in progress" to "finished".

That was interspersed with gardening... and many thanks to the offer of assistance (and a great deal of motivation) from my brother, the rock garden was transformed.

I spent time with friends -- boating, picnicking, laughing, providing support and having that support reciprocated.

And family factored prominently into my time this summer as well.... including my Mom's 85th birthday celebration!

I didn't get to my loom, but the fall is as good a time as any to try new things. My yarn stash has been re-examined and I found a few things that I thought had been "lost". And I sorted yarns that I'm not going to knit and listed them on my "sell or trade" Ravelry page.

I have prioritized my "to do" projects, and committed to spending time knitting every day.

And who knows, maybe this "done list" strategy will serve me well for the rest of the year...

Finish-itis

It seems ironic that almost one year ago, I was looking for a specific yarn and was concerned about starting a myriad of knitting projects. Cut to one year later, and I'm in the midst of finishing projects -- some that have languished for many years.

With the luxury of some vacation time, and a highly-motivating group on Ravelry, I am now working on finishing sweaters number 6 and 7.... Yes, these were projects (for the most part) that were hibernating in various stages of completion. Rather embarrassing when I stop to think about it.

One colourwork sweater was started around 2006-07; the lovely shell and cardi I'm working on now was put on the needles in 2005. Both were about 85% finished.

Three other sweaters were started within the past year, and those are now off my needles. One was a shell or "tank top", the other two cardigans. A little infant-sized sweater also was completed.

I certainly admire those who are monogamous knitters.... I am not such a person. In fact, as my brain has been veering off on tangents as I knit, I have recalled three other projects (a coral summer cardigan, a turquoise shell, and a green winter cardigan) that are each 90% done....they're next!

I have also discovered something about myself in this journey of finish-itis, though.... I like the challenge and excitement of new projects, and when things are pretty much done except for the minor "work" (picking up stitches for the collar or button bands, or steeking the front of the cardigan), I'll set it aside and promptly forget about it as I venture to a newer, more exciting thing on my needles.

I said in an earlier blog post that I'd be citing my accomplishments rather than my "to do" or "wish I"d done" list for my summer holidays.  Suffice it to say, I'm well on my way to a healthy list!!

The Lazy, Hazy Days of Summer

Where did June go? I vaguely remember the warp speed of wrapping up the school year, a week of hot weather to finally indicate the transition from a cool spring into the warmth of a Canadian summer, and I definitely remember the anticipation of preparing for the annual fishing trip with friends. But aside from those fleeting memories, the month of June has slipped by again this year, dumping us into the glorious start of summer.

The anticipation for summer begins in February when we believe we won't be able to tolerate one more hint of a snow storm, or another drive on snowy or icy roadways. That mental exhaustion slips away with the first warming rays of a March sun, giving us a glimpse of better things to come -- a brief refuge before the spring showers of April. The deafening sounds of the peeper frogs in May warn us of the impending barrage of black flies and mosquitoes that keep us itching well in to June. And then summer.....

For me, there are similarities between my expectations for summer accomplishments and my fibre fanaticism.  Each year resurfaces my hope to walk every day, finally get to that rock garden on the back hill, sort through some boxes in the basement -- these are things that miraculously reappear on an annual list, year after year.

It's easy to suggest there's not enough time, but there is.... It's no different than my expectation for my fibre arts projects -- I succumb to the lure of new projects rather than focusing on "the list" of things to finish. That's why finishing that sweater, those quilt tops and binding, or finally trying the new loom I've had since December are akin to that rock garden and those basement boxes. I enjoy spending time in July and August with family, friends, at barbecues, eating ice cream, accepting an invitation to spend the afternoon on a friend's boat, and these activities win out every time.

This year, I'm approaching things a little differently. Rather than the "To Do" list, I'm creating a "Done" list. If I finish that sweater while sitting on the deck chatting with Mom, then great.... I'll add it to the "Done" list.  If I spend an afternoon visiting with friends I haven't seen for a while, then there will be no guilt, no pressure that I didn't have time to try the loom. It's not on the list, so no worries.

In two months' time, I'll be able to look at my list of achievements and reflect back on the glorious weeks of summer with a sense of pride and accomplishment.  After all, isn't that why they call it the lazy, hazy days of summer!?

Expanding my horizons....

Recently I had the opportunity to join three long-time and dear friends on a trip to New York City. This was the first time to this megapolitan city for any of us, so we were geared for new adventures and sites long before our plane left Toronto!

We were awestruck by the space-visibile techno-Times Square, starstruck by the celebs we met on Broadway, and dumbstruck by the sheer numbers of people -- and taxis -- on an island that is only twelve miles long and two miles wide!

What a fantastic adventure...

I must add a caveat -- I like cities. I like people watching. I like the architecture of a city's tall buildings. I like the history of landmarks. I like the beauty of the parks and natural landscapes. I like cityscapes at night.
I like envisioning what's going on in the lives of people around me, or where they're going, what they're doing...  I think you get the idea!  So, NYC was a jackpot of all these things, in one mega-meal serving!!


We did a couple of Broadway shows (Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike starring David Hyde-Pierce and Sigourney Weaver, as well as The Trip to Bountiful starring Cicely Tyson, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Vanessa Williams), and saw the sights (Empire State Building, Rockefeller Centre, Central Park, Statue of Liberty) as well as touring Manhattan by bus and boat.

Despite this jam packed schedule, I also had an opportunity to stop in and experience first-hand, the trendy Purl SoHo... what a great yarn/fabric store!

A few fibre treasures had to follow me home... one an amazing combination of merino and milk protein turned into a laceweight yarn. My choice was a rich turquoise blue called "Paradise". Not sure what I'll be making with it yet, but the anticipation is the fun part of the journey.

There's so much more to explore in NYC -- much more than we had the time or energy to conquer this trip. I'm looking forward to experiencing the energy, excitement and dynamic variety of things to do on a return trip...

Different fibres in your diet....

During the past three days, I was fortunate to be part of a group of thirty women who were wonderfully encouraging, like-minded fibre enthusiasts.... this time however, the fibre was fabric, and the occasion was a twice-a-year quilting weekend held at a resort-like camp in Muskoka.

Many of these women either were friends or acquantances, or have become so in the past many years I have taken part in this retreat.  We may not see each other outside of these two occasions, but when we do get together, it's like time hasn't passed. Within the larger group, there is a smaller collection of dear friends -- the folks who inspire you, are enthusiastic with their praise, and gentle with their critques, and are ready to share a hearty laugh on the spur of the moment -- and for me that's Connie and Gail (...and yes, including me, there are FOUR Gails at this retreat!!). They have been consistent table-mates for the past number of years and continue to be my most trusted advisors and my unconditional fans!

Take for instance one of my "to finish" projects this weekend.... it started at last November's retreat with a jelly-roll of 2.5" batik strips in jewel-tone colours, some black fabric, and a spark of an idea from this pattern. Gail wasn't quite sure what I was up to, and Connie just figured it was another one of my wacky "over-achiever" ideas! But they were both encouraging and incredibly helpful at seeing my idea come to fruition and making suggestions regarding colour blending. Other ladies at the retreat also helped with block placement once I had all the components completed, and this is the outcome.......

I'm pleased with how it turned out.... the picture doesn't do justice to the vibrant colours of the batik fabrics against the black. An outside border has yet to be added (black) and then an appropriate backing fabric before it's quilted. Measuring about 64" square, it'll make another quilt for the rotation on my office wall.

What gave me the "warm and fuzzies" was Connie's constant encouragement.... from a scrunched up nose when I showed her one colour combination, to her teasing "overachiever" comments!! And also Gail's sharing of my finished project.... she'd comment to the other quilters "Look at this... would you guess it's this pattern" (and point to the book). That kind of praise from fellow quilters is invaluable, and let me tell you, both Connie and Gail are just a few of the accomplished quilters at this retreat!!

So my fibre diet wasn't entirely fabric this weekend.  I did get a few rounds knit on a sweater sleeve, during our quilt show-and-tell session. Another table-mate (Pat) is a long-time devoted knitter and we enjoyed several conversations as well as our own "knitting show'n tell".... all in all, it was a delightful weekend with a nice dietary mix of fibre!

A Clear Slate...

I doubt I'll ever have everything off my needles, at least to the point where I'm picking out a new pattern or skein of yarn with a clear slate. That's to say, I doubt I'll ever find myself without a project that needs a sleeve, the final few rows of a lace border, a second sock, or even grafting or the weaving of ends.

That doesn't worry me; instead, I consider it motivating. I've set an informal limit of having no more than 8-10 things on my needles at one time. This gives me the flexibility to have variety in my projects, stave off boredom, and still feel like I'm making progress when one item is completed and makes way for a new project. It's like having a line-up of new projects walking up to my door at regular intervals. (I feel there should be a punchline here... like can I hear the new project walk up if it's a pair of socks? Or can I hear it knock if it's mittens?......but I digress!)

Where the motivation starts to break down is the length of time some projects take to "turn over". For example, I've had a pair of lovely colourwork socks on my needles for almost a year now. It's not like they're complicated -- just two colours and all knit stitches -- but I've procrastinated. I turned my attention to one of the other half-dozen projects and completed some of them, thereby adding new projects to pique my interest and compete for my attention. The socks remain on the list, patiently waiting in line, reluctant to give up their spot in the queue to any newcomers.

The March Break gave me an opportunity to move a few things languishing on the list to different spots in the queue. One pair of socks (closer to the "new" end of my list!) is finished, and the colourwork socks have sauntered ahead in the line, moving from near the back to about half-way up the queue. These are not watch-tv-and-knit socks...maybe that's why they are sauntering, rather than walking at a more brisk pace. But they are moving forward.

I still have other projects knocking at the door, impatiently waiting for me to answer -- some have been making their presence known for some time, waving from the end of the driveway, so to speak! At least they can see the door, and that in itself is progress from a few weeks ago.

"It'll be fine...." (....won't it?)

I look forward to Thursday evenings! That's Knit Night with my dear friend, Susan. We laugh, commiserate, catch-up, ooooh and ahhhh with show'n tell, and in the midst of all that, we usually enjoy a cup of tea/coffee and get some knitting done.

Last night was no exception, although I think we were a bit more focused on the commiseration component!! For some reason (I'm going with the weather pressure!!), we were more silent than usual and completely focused on knitting projects that were throwing challenges and hurdles at each of us.

Susan's "red thing" (emphasis, with disdain, on the "thing"!) has seen repeated tinking and reknitting, and was on the final lap. We could hear cheering as it was rounding that final corner and heading into the home stretch. The finish line was in sight. The crowd was cheering..... (okay, really, that was me saying "You can do it, you'll be fine...").... and that, my friends, is where the trouble started!! Those three words: "you'll be fine".... resonating with encouragement, optimism and hope.... can come back to bite you in the -- um, skein -- before you know it.

Susan had calculated the yarn required for casting off. I know because we had measured it when it was tinked in a previous iteration. She measured, and re-measured, and measured again, with me laughing in the background saying, "Okay Susan, stop measuring and start knitting. You'll be fine!".

And she did. Susan started the cast off on the lovely "red thing". Cheers erupted from our imaginary crowd. My sock project was tapping its toes in anticipation. The blocking mats were applauding in the distance. The pins were pointing with excitement! (....okay, I'll stop!)

Perhaps my words of (what were truly meant to be) encouragement was a reflection on how things were not happening for me, and how desperately I wanted it to be okay for Susan. I was working on a pair of socks (two at a time on two circular needles), and had struggled to complete three rows on my socks.... three! And even in that Herculean effort, I ended up transferring needles twice to deal with a stitch that had to "switch sides" on a circular needle. I finished the three rows and put it away, pulling out another pair of socks as an alternate project....only to promptly drop six stitches down three rows on the end of one of them -- of course, it involved twisted stitches. It took me the rest of the night to fix those, and I didn't dare pick up another project just to screw it up too! (For the record, all is well again, and I'm ready to make progress on both projects).

So, Susan is diligently casting off. Every few stitches, she reaches for the remaining yarn and holds it up with eyebrow raised, and a questioning look thrown in my direction. "You'll be fine" was my response.... until almost half way through the cast off.  Susan's look changed from one of shared hopeful optimism to "Are you crazy!?! Seriously?!?"  Time to admit defeat (...and yes, I purposely missed that opportunity to pun with "de-feet" in deference to my sock project).

We measured the yarn that remained from the yards and yards she had at the start of the cast off.... Nope. It. Was. Not. Going. To. Be. Fine.

Guilt. That's what motivated me to offer to tink (for those who may not know, that's "knit" backwards!) back the cast-off, but Susan declined my offer. She said she'd tackle it after a quick trip to the ladies' room. Moments later, Susan is laughing so hard, I'm sure there were tears... you know, those fun moments when someone's laughter is so contagious, you start laughing even though you have no idea what you're laughing about?

Apparently, someone had chosen to write graffitti on the back of the washroom stall door, and these were the words that caused Susan (and I) to laugh out loud:

It's going to be OK.

We laughed and laughed, and at that point, we figured out a way to do the cast-off with the yarn Susan had. It is going to be okay!!

PJs

Everyone needs a "PJ Day". I highly recommend this as a monthly occurrence.

Give yourself a permission to spend a day at leisure... a day to get up, not get dressed; to wander between tasks you want to do, and do them when you want to do them. That means cereal for breakfast and dinner is fine. Watching reruns and falling asleep in a comfy chair is okay too. Looking at the bit of fluff on the floor rather than vacuuming it up (along with a few of his friends) is acceptable.

About a week ago, I was fortunate enough to experience a PJ Day in conjunction with another wonderfully indulgent day making the experience the perfect combination!! A life-long friend got caught up in that time/space continuum that sucks minutes out of the space between transferring airline flights, and ended up spending an unscheduled day in the area. I knew in advance this could be a possibility, and while I did appreciate her need to return home after a long time away,, I was secretly hoping we'd be able to connect.... and we did. We spent a day doing some errands, laughing, sitting in comfortable silence (the way long-time dear friends do, yet still know what is being "unsaid" between them), and enjoying good food before heading back to the airport.

One moment that will remain in my memory from this day -- and upon which I reflected several times on my indulgent PJ day that followed -- was the few minutes we spent in a photo booth having our pictures taken together. This is a long tradition for us -- starting in the late 1980s after seeing the movie "Beaches". In the film, two life-long friends (who had met on a beach -- not unlike our story), had their pictures taken at a photo booth -- a practice they continued throughout their lives. After seeing that movie, and before my friend moved from Ontario to the east coast, we headed to a photo booth and did the same thing. We have done that several times during the past many, many years, and on my wall, I have the proof in several black and white photos of my friend and I in amusing, silly and serious poses.

As I sat in my PJs on the following Sunday, I smiled at the latest addition to that collection, taken the day before.  Not only was my indulgent PJ day restoring balance in my life, but I also felt incredibly blessed to have been able to spend that time with my friend.

Rekindling the Romance.... with Fibre

Before the Christmas Break, I had the opportunity to sort through my fibre stash. Most of it was fingering weight sock yarns, but there were some silk and/or lace yarns designated for scarves, and a few stash-related collections for sweaters. It was a great saunter down memory lane... revisiting the vision that came with those purchases -- what was I going to make, what did the yarn want to be (then and now).

I did get quite a bit of knitting done during the break -- a few cowls, a good start on a sweater, and finished some other projects that had been languishing. My goal (note: this is not a "resolution"... somehow those always seem to get "broken"!), is to keep that momentum. It's time to... (yes, I can hear knitters and fibre stashers alike taking a collective gasp...).... knit from the stash!

It certainly isn't a case of not having a lot of choice! There's quite a variety of yarn and projects, and immediate access isn't an issue either. I can also make sure to find some time -- a little each day to make progress. So, what's the hold-up? I think it's prioritization.

My Dad was great at taking on projects -- and if there were gaps in the skill set required, he'd figure it out (sometimes not always for the best, but you have to admire his courage!).  Perhaps heredity plays a role... in my case, I can figure it out too, but the vision to marry colour with a design and then knit a project can outweigh the reality of time and perseverance -- and, let's face it, "startitis"!

So, my dear Knit Night Buddy and I have developed a system this year. We've each created a list. Our respective lists identify projects on the needles, or in progress at any stage, and then dangle a carrot for their completion. If I finish this project, then I can start this one. We're blending different styles of projects into the mix, and allowing the flexibilty to have two or three (or maybe more) projects on the go at the same time, but there are always caveats... finishing the project(s) before moving on. No more finding those years-old projects languishing in a bag stuffed at the back of the closet.... (ask me how I know about this one!)

There are even bigger carrots within our list... the permission to add to our yarn stashes at certain milestones. We're counting on each other to hold us accountable to our goals, and we believe it will work. (Show and tell on Thursday nights is a big motivator too!)

So, here's to 2013... my "Year of Yarn"...(and yes, stash reduction!)